forgive me

Forgive me if Im a little crazy, and I dont follow the pschyological norm...

Tryna be that chick you can always depend on just left me broke, pissed and confused
I gained nothing as you gained it all
Put me through hell? No baby you didn't do that at all...
Instead you gave me peace, a hopefull future and a since of completion
No one can debate that.... But again you left me broke, pissed and confused
Leaving me to my own devices and tools

Fire, in your eyes, and in your action, you lite one match and up in flames we went
Fire, killing the memory of you and me as short lived as it may be with
Fire, that sent me a blaze after just one plea
Fire, that never sparked an intent of return
Fire, that didnt dare spare an inch of my mind, body or soul
Fire, that swept through like a plague killing those emotions you so willingly gave...

So forgive me if I haven't cried yet, I think I'm in a bit of a shock?

Because this all has me at a lost
I mess up twice and you said this is the end
when I said...wait!!! not true, I sacrficed so much for you and I didnt think twice to let you in... And you said well damn baby thats all on you again...
All on me, all on me!!!????

So forgive me if I yell, scream, cry, shout and throw a fit like Im 5 years old with a potty mouth

Cause you was my daddy... Oh wait Isn't that what you liked me to call you??
Yeahhh you remember that?? And just like he abandoned you, you abandoned me
All you had was love to give, as did I... But because of that my heart got the best of me and you denied me without giving me any time...

So forgive me if I act a fool, cause I don't know how to handle my emotions when it deals with you...

Have you ever thought that you being with another woman just leaves me sooo shattered ??Im screaming these profanities BITCH FUCK YOU because without my insanity Im really shouting I LOVE YOU... Forgive me for caring soo much that everyday I wake up Im more in love with you, forgive me that this stone heart was finally turning into flesh! And yes I admitt I didn't know how to handle it yet!! Forgive me because I just knew that you could be miles away but in your finger tips alone you could feel how much I love you, Forgive me for showing you an unconditional love as much as I could, never focusing on your flaws but always focusing on the man I genuinely trust to hold my life oh so carefully in his palms...

So yeah forgive me cause I acted a fool but I guess my love for you overshadowed the truth...

The truth is my love grew sooo much that it covered me and you, so you see what I thought you felt for me couldnt have been the truth... I thought I could compliment and help you for the better I let go of some childish things to give you time to clear the smoke, but shame on me all the words I uttered you just wrapped your hands around my neck and choked... choked the life out of this situation and so suddenly might I add...

So again forgive me if I haven't cried because Im in a bit of shock, on how fast my heart was snatched and thrown to the rocks

Forgive me you say you have but can you really look me in my eye and tell me that lie?
Forgive me hmmm I think not, cause if you did you would've gave me time... But I guess you didnt feel like we were worth it, just a little college flinge with a girl with big dreams??

So forgive me baby cause I would have gave you an eternity for time...

This is something that could have been fixed, but I guess your pride wouldn't let you believe this, if you wanted to fix it you would have worked at it but this hurts me everytime to think that you were looking for this great escape all along because you never felt like it was worth it...
So this is not a plea, or even something that needs a response but just a writing for you from me...